if you like me you must not know who I am
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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