It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
