i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
