so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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