people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
