at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
