i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
