I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
