let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
