i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
