He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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