HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
