i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
