I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
