She's JV to your varsity
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
