i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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