I can tuck mytits in my pants
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
