Don't you send me to vm
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
