they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
