he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize