He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
