I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize