im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
And the cops told us we were all naked.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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