i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
