I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize
