she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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