The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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