i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
