Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You pole danced in your parka.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
