her vagine was all disorganized.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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