Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
