dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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