found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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