he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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