Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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