I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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