I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
