this boner is exhausting
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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