And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
