I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
