they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize