ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
