I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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