Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
