I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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