so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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