I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
