i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
