What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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