haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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