Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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