Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize