I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
