You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
