we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
