I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
