Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
