let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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