i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
