i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
