Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
