she was so not down for the gang bang
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
