You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Randomize
