she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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