i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize