who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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