He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
