Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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