Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
