apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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