My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
