She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
