do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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