I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
its not stalking. its research.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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