Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
