i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
