Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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