Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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